Dear David,

How do I tell you I miss you so much?  I remember the day before you left us, you said you were going out with Becky and her family and you did. You also kept in touch with me like you always did, I also remember we said that night we would take you to the stockcar racing and meet ann. and sue and there mob at the time you both weren’t to happy at first but as the night went on you both were in you element and really enjoying it so much you asked if you could come again. You was so happy and that was the last time we all spent time together.  On the Thursday you asked if you could go back with Becky and her family again like you did on the Wednesday and you told me how much you had enjoyed it. So I said ok you could go as long as you keep in touch. So we left you at the caravan site as you were going over to Becky’s caravan, and me, Steve and rich went into the village to get a new sink as we had a bad leak on the old one and it needed replacing urgent. At the shop they said the only one they had was at there other shop which was in Skegness, so they told us they would save it for us about an hour till we got there. We went in the next hour.
While we were out you phoned me to say you hadn’t gone with Becky and wasn’t it ok that you helped Elliott as he was on his own. I said k sweetheart be careful he said ok don’t worry love you mum see you later, I said love you too babe.

We got back later after fetching the sink and went to ask Elliott if he had any tools we could use. I went back with Steve to the caravan to help him. After a while I think it was about 5-45 i came over to talk to you and tell you I was going to get tea ready. As I spoke to Elliott he said how good you were, at taking the money, explaining what they could go on etc, you even did the sweeping up. Elliott said you were better than the other lads that worked for him. You then came over to me and Elliott and Elliott said in front of you how good you were. You then asked if you could help on the Friday, I said we would have to wait and see.

I then said see you later Elliott he said ok sue. And I walked off with you David down past the bouncy castles we spoke about how pleased we were about how good you had been. I said I am going to get back to the caravan and get the Kentucky chicken cooked (you loved it so much) I said either me or rich would come over to get some chips from James. You came over to me and gave me a big hug and I gave you a big hug back, I told you like every other time that I loved you and be careful and I would send Richard over when tea was ready and you both were to come over for your tea. See you later you said I love you and my last reply to you was love you to.

 I went back to the caravan. It must have been about 5 mins later that Richard came running across screaming David’s had an accident, Steve said I will run across you lock up and follow ASAP, so that’s what we did and I wasn’t far behind your dad. When I arrived I could see and hear Steve shouting get an ambulance. One had been phoned for. Steve was at your side with you. I was not ready for the shock that I got. You was laying on the ground blood was coming from your nose, mouth and ears and you had a cut on your belly button I didn’t see how bad your crushed chest was but I remember Elliott calling 999 for the ambulance again saying that the young lad had serious chest crush injuries we needed the ambulance now or we will loose him. I looked down at you and couldn’t understand why there was so much blood (we found out later that the crush had severed your main artery) I could see you was having trouble breathing your eyes were glazed as if you was with us but you weren’t you never did speak to us again.

I kept telling you to fight it babe you’re a fighter, I remember your dad saying come on David don’t die please god not David where is the ambulance. Steve got up to see where it was, that’s when I saw your lips start to turn blue, and I screamed get help now were loosing him. I started to give you the kiss of life the best way I knew then I saw your lips seemed to go pinkish again. Steve and Elliott or somebody flagged down a police car passing they told him what had happened and as he came over I said help us were losing him, I held you neck back as it was awkward on the stones so as I held your neck it would help keep your airway clear. I was holding you so gentle and saying hold on sunshine help is on its way, fight it you’re a strong fit fighter. That young policeman tried so hard to help you until the ambulance arrived. Even when they arrived I still held your head/neck telling them to please help save my baby don’t let him die. At the scene of the accident they were trying so hard to save you and stabilize you When they had done that they got you in the ambulance and took you too Skegness hospital. The young pc said they will do everything they possibly can and we were to follow in the panda car. I said Norman would you look after Richard the police car and ambulance were soon at Skegness hospital and they whisked you in the emergency entrance. The pc took us to the reception so we could give your details, they then took us into a side room and asked us if we needed anything.

I said I need to see my baby, they said let the doctors sort him out first. By this time I started to hyperventilate because I needed to know what was happening. A doctor came in and said things looked bleak and they were going to get you moved to Boston as they were better equipped to help you. I said I still need to see my baby, the doctor said it wouldn’t be a very nice sight as the other doctors etc would still be working on you because they were trying to stabilize you for the journey to Boston. We said that it didn’t matter we needed to see you. The nurse took us in and said you have got 1 minutes, you can talk to him and hold his hand as he will hear you the doctors by this time were massaging you heart by hand (they had there had in your chest and were squashing your heart to keep you alive), you was so soft hearted and had a heart of gold. So we came over to you and I said your dad and me are here fight it. When I held your hand it was so cold and I had to let go, I started it cry and said no David don’t go we need you. It was then I felt we had already lost you but I kept praying that there was still hope and you could pull through. Shortly after we left you they got you into the ambulance and we were to follow in the convoy. The pc was so good to us he told us what they were doing and we would race to Boston behind the ambulance. Ewe must have hit 70mph the ambulance was speeding in front of us with siren on and lights flashing, our panda car had its lights and siren on too. I kept telling Steve that you were going to be ok and you were a fighter.

I still sensed that when I held your hand that you had already gone, but I kept looking up to the sky saying god please don’t let him die. But al this time I kept telling Steve that he would pull through. We eventually arrived at Boston which seemed ages but other police cars stopped traffic etc and as soon as we pulled in to the hospital the rushed you in to theatre and go with the pc and nurse who was waiting for us when we arrived. I saw the blood dripping of the sheets on to the floor as you were wheeled in and it left a trail leading into the hospital. And that was the last we saw of you. We all went up to the children’s ward and where taken into a side room. I don’t know how much later it was but I remember there was 3 doctors that came in to tell us that they had done everything possible they could do to save you but they was so sorry that they couldn’t save you. I asked if you had suffered they say no they didn’t think so because the shock etc to you. That you wouldn’t have known much about it. But you would have possibly heard our voices as they say that’s the last thing you would have heard. I don’t remember all of what happened next but I remember your dad crying out no not David it cant be true, he cant be dead he is only 12 I said what do we do next. I don’t know what we have to do.

I remember I made some phone calls I asked Ann and ste to go to Normans and fetch Richard because we was at Boston hospital and David had been in a bad accident hey phoned us back shortly to say Norman was on his way with Richard when Norman and Richard had arrived they came into the room and that was the moment we told them you had passed away and they both stood there and cried. All I remember Norman saying I am so sorry he was in tears and didn’t know what to say at all. Soon after Ann and sue arrived with us on the children’s ward. They thought you might have your arm in plaster or something like that, they didn’t expect us to tell them you had passed away. A while later a nurse came down to us and said that if we wanted to go down and see you we went down to see you it was so unreal it was just like you was resting or having a sleep, because of what happened you looked so peace full I walked round and held your hand and I remembered unlike at Skegness your hand wasn’t cold like before it seemed to be warm. While I held your had I said god what am I going to do now vie lost my baby why him. Steve and I held each of your hands and we cried saying why. First it was like having a nightmare that you don’t wake up from. To me it was the nightmare every parent dreads that they loose their children before they die. And with you not being ill and you died sudden at the age of 12. It made it so hard. You was a great son because you had everything to live for you was living life to the full and if you wanted something you went out worked for it until you got it, you said you wanted to be a top [chef like those on television and you wanted your own restaurant so much and that you loved Becky so much that when you were both 16 you wanted to get married and we said if that’s what you both wanted and her parents said it was ok then it would be ok with us too. You were kind and would help anyone if you could, you was so cute good looking and all the girls liked you, even the older ones, they liked your cheeky but mischievous little grin as if butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth.

 You also mastered the art of taking off Rosie and it was perfect to a t.
Why you I kept asking myself, as we took Ann and Sue and Norman to see you. We didn’t know how bad sue was going to be after she saw you. Just before we left I went to see you for one last time be fore we left, Because I had asked a couple of nurses to cut a couple of locks of your hair. And I stroked your lovely blonde hair and I said I love you and that was the last time I saw you until you came back to Nottingham. We all went back to the caravan finished the work we had left earlier, and then we all said goodbye and we all tried to get some sleep. It was so hard and I remember every time I heard a noise I would jump up and see you. We packed up early that morning and we went to say goodbyes to Norman and his family Norman said you might need this to help you through I said no thanks and what was it he Sid go on you will need it (much later when we checked it was 500 pound).

And we also said goodbye to Becky and her family, I also remember that night we told Becky you had died she just couldn’t believe it and cried so much and we hugged you all said we would keep in touch and let them know the detail later. That was when we saw that there was reporters and TV people were there and they had been there soon after the accident and they wanted to know what was what. At that time we weren’t to know that there had been 5 serious accidents on fairground rides and out of the 5 you was the last to be killed. We drove home not knowing what to expect when we got home. As we drove past Boston hospital it was so hard to think that we had left you there all alone and you wouldn’t be coming home with us again. And you would never come home again in body, I still think you are always with us in soul and spirit and you feel what we are feeling.

We had the reporters and TV people waiting for us at home when we got there, they had already asked neighbours about us as a family and about you David there comments were so good, but they all did track us down reporters and TV people etc as in our address and even where we worked, and they even went to Rosie and Connie.  I also remember the first photo that was shown of you was an old one and we saw that on the news report that we saw and straight away I phoned them and said that’s not him they knew what I meant about the photo as it was old one and so they said they would send round a person to collect your passport photo that you had taken on the Saturday before. A knock came and it was the reporter form the evening post, he was very kind and good as I remember as I was telling him everybody needed to know what a wonder lad and son you was, your goals in life, the plans you had and most of all how much we loved you as well as others. Also remember telling the reporter and photographer if they told lies or changed anything I would have them. Just as I finished that I remember the central news man Jonathan ray turned up and he came over and spoke to us first and we remerge him saying I know what you are going through I lost my young child 3 year ago.

In the interview as I always remember I spoke about you as I had done before as I spoke at most of them (well you know what I am like I am better and don’t give your dad a chance). We saw the news that night with your passport photo and we was talking about you feel that we felt better cos we had put your story/side on the news .  I did all the funeral because when Mel came Steve just lost it totally and I could not do anything for him or with him so I sorted it out with Melvin (you know my boyfriend form the funeral service where I worked wit many years ago). Mel was so good and all the things that were said where set into plan. We came down to see you at triumph road. When we went into see you it was odd you was so peaceful as if you had taken a little nap and I remember that your freckles were so prominent and me and your dad held your hand I stroked your hair it was so soft we came down everyday to see you. Like when Rosie and Connie came down to see you, Rosie leaned over to give you a kiss the more she leaned the more we could see the coffin move, I kept thinking she will knock him over so I went and stood the other side she didn’t knock you over in the end and I did think if David was here he would have seen the funny side of this.

Richard came in to see you and say goodbye so did Philip, Glenys, Simon Kevin, Christopher and Zowie, but it was the last time we could see you as it was the morning of your funeral. My wish was that your dad or me would be the last family member to see you; I said I wanted it to be me and Steve said that would be ok. As I was the first to have you so I wanted to be the last to have you I had them dress you in the new poppers legging we called them and one of your favourite tops and trainers we think you would have liked that. Your aunty Pauline had just managed to get a last minute flight so she could come and say goodbye.

Howard went to fetch her from the airport for us, as it was the day of the funeral. That day the day of the funeral was so hard and I got up early to do the food for those who had travelled a long way, and kept thinking David would have loved doing the food, as he wanted to be a chef. How we missed you, and the flowers started to arrive about 6 am that morning of the funeral. And by the end of the day there must have been at least 50 floral tributes and we must have received at least a 100 sympathy cards. David your funeral was perfect and your dad and Philip and Richard and Norman carried you into the church is so beautiful and the service was great. And the 2 things that stood out most was 1 I felt alone as I followed the coffin as dad and others carried you I had no one to hold on to for strength so I looked to my left to see Melvin stood there so I had to grab his hand I felt terrible and need the support of some one and it was him, the 2nd think was as they carried you out I saw the church was so packed it was unbelievable and they were standing as there was no more seats to sit on and it was so full and they had all come to say goodbye to you. I do remember seeing a few faces even though I knew almost everyone who was there, it was the faces of brain cross man, bevy tyres mark the butcher, Mrs. knight the Jamaican lady and some staff and kids from Glaisdale and all the other schools you had been to some one came. I hope you could see the amount of people who came to say goodbye and who loved and cared about you.

We did ask for just close friends and family to go to barcode crematorium because of the time factor and getting everyone there and in (and it wouldn’t have been big enough).
It was your dad Philip and Norman who carried you into the crem, and as you was carried into the crem they played stone cold Steve Austin’s music as you loved wwf and your favourite was stone cold so we had them play his intro music where you hear the sound of glass smashing when it starts. It was a nice family service and Rosie and Connie etc only just made it. We asked for the curtain to say open instead of it closing, the music spirit in the sky was the one they played as you went and I remember looking at aunty Pauline with tears in her eyes as she listened to the music. She asked me later why that record and I replied Steve said now they will play any music you like so if you have a CD they will play it and Steve said when he goes he would like it to be played and David heard this and asked to listen to it and Steve said listen to the words David and he did and after a few times of hearing it David also said he would love to have the same music for his and he liked the words so we just smiled at him and said ok babes (never thinking we would play it so soon). Pauline then smiled and said I see.

We all then walked through were the flowers are put after the service and they were still bringing them through as we went in. babes you had loads of flowers and they were all so beautiful. We did ask a lot of people to come back to the school for refreshments as a lot had come a long way. They were all talking about you babes and the lovely service and the carrying of the coffin and the flowers and they all said how perfect it was. We also thanked everyone for coming and I heard a lot of people say and talking and say what a wonderful lad you was and they would always remember you and the things about you and what you did and how kind etc you were. It was such a long hard day and I kept thinking to m myself why my babe but I guess we will never know and I kept thinking that him up there must have had a good reason for taking you such a good lad like you, he must have been short of angels and needed a very special one that was good at organising things etc like you so that was why he chosen you. I have thought about you everyday and as I sit here and write this it hurts so much because people even now who saw it on the news don’t realise its you and even now some still ask how are you all and your 2 lads. And when they find out they say what a great lad you were.

Its been about a month now and it still hurts so much and I also miss you so very much and I know I have not tided your bedroom as I remember we left in a rush to go to the coast and I said you can do it when you get back. But I never thought you would not come back and I will get round to it like I said I would, I also said I would loose weight too. We are still waiting for the inquest and they say it will take at least 2 or 3 months. People and friends say go away abroad or some where a3way from it but I say I cant because it should be you going as well as us and its so very hard to let go and leave you. Babe I love you so much and all I ask is that you let me know you are ok up there and that you are watching over all of us down here and you can see we are finishing off the pond that you started and we also said we would do it after the holiday. We are doing it for you and we will call it David’s garden and we are also putting it in the book of remembrance at bramcote so other people can. When at the coast people close friends etc. all nip to see you (because the grey family said we could bury your ashes on there land and have a wall built round your tree that Howard and family got you) and the friends always lay flowers etc like Shelia and Gordon. The Grays also said they will keep an eye on you (bit late for that now) down there.

We all miss you so much even people that are not family miss you. As time goes on I will still try and add on to this as long as I possibly can. All I can say is you take care and I will see you soon and I wish it hadn’t happened and I was sorry but it wasn’t up to me and I am so sorry and I miss the cuddles and the copying of Rosie you did and the love you gave us. Again sweetheart I love you so does everyone else and when people say as long as you talk about the person you will on forever in there hearts and forever in ours, god bless you sweetheart may god love you like I do may you rest in peace, goodbye sweetheart love you love mum and love from dad and Richard and all.

With all my love and kisses and cuddles and everything love mum xxxxxxxxx